Travelogue: @nascarcasm takes on Miami

Racing! Sunshine! Alligators! Tourists listening to "Margaritaville" on repeat! Southern Florida is the ideal location for a season finale, and not only because Homestead Miami Speedway offers exciting, multi-groove racing. Turns out there's a lot to do around there. Let's spend a few days together, shall we?

Turns out an airboat ride through the Everglades is a lot of fun. They're loud and make lots of twists and turns. Picture driving the Charlotte Road Course except you're taking mud to the face the whole time.

I'm not THAT afraid of wild gators but we slowly drove past one of these guys and I surrendered my seat on the side of the boat like it was Denny Hamlin's pit stall.

Little ones. Basically the NASCAR Next of alligators.

It's fierce, and it fits in the palm of your hand. No wonder they call Justin Allgaier "Lil' Gator."

One of the biggest attractions in Key West is the Hemingway Home, where Ernest Hemingway lived and wrote several books. Thanks to Dale Jr.'s recent book, Hemingway is considered the second-most famous author to spend time in Key West.

Ernest Hemingway or Brett Moffitt, I dunno.

You'd have no idea this was the house that Amy and Dale renovated for their show on the DIY network. I figured it would have a bunch of wrecked boats in the backyard. Nope, it's lovely. Lots of shiplap. Very heavy on the shiplap.

A floating tiki bar with an outboard motor is the most "What Would Clint Bowyer Do?" thing I saw in Key West.

Infield is already packed like Disney World on a major holiday. Sun shining bright. Everyone squinting. HARBINGER OF THINGS TO COME.

Pictured here is a car that is most definitely not gonna win the damn war.

It's a tradition at Homestead-Miami Speedway to take a picture of the right side of Kyle Larson's car while it's still there.

Johnny Depp, y'all.

Paint scheme of the day. Last ran when William Byron was a zygote.

I'm not sure if this is supposed to be an inspirational message for Jimmie Johnson or if some kids just Googling facts and jotting them down on the wall.

Denny Hamlin's pit stall, where Kyle Busch's team stayed for the weekend and did not leave a good TripAdvisor review.

This giant tower summons Regan Smith whenever his subbing duties are desperately needed.

It's really neat how when Cash Bowyer is out greeting his fans, he brings his dad along to enjoy the experience.

I can't believe that Bill Elliott runs one Xfinity Series race and they give him giant signage in Turn 3. Seems a bit much.

Right about when everyone is realizing he might actually win the damn war.

Joey Logano, your 2018 champion and Damn War victor.

See if you can locate Todd Gordon standing there all like "OMG, can I please go down to the big stage and drink beer out of the trophy now?"

Joey's victory burnout. Also, Jimmie Johnson's bathroom sink after he shaved.

Peace, southern Florida. You are lovely. Time to travel back home. Hopefully unlike a pre-race parachute jumper, I will land safely.